Chapter 18:
Forgive myself? As Edmund stared back thoughtfully at his brothers face, trying to comprehend the bombshell hed just dropped into his head, the hospital operating room seemed to fade away around them, and was replaced with tropical flowersbirds of paradise, orchids, ylang-ylang, jasmine and roses roses just like his mother, Charlotte, used to grow in the gardens at the palace?
What? How? Edmund stammered, spinning around to take in the sights and smellsyes, smells, he could smell the sweet heady fragrance of the flowers on the warm San Cristobel breeze. This isnt real, Edmund whispered.
Oh, but it is Edmund, Richard assured him.
I dont understand, Richard. Why are we here? Why have you brought me back to this place?
Not just back to this place, Edmund Richard motioned to the palace balcony where a familiar lone figure stood stiffly looking out over the grounds, and the distant tinkling sound of children laughing grew gradually louder in Edmunds ears. Back to this time, Edmund. Back to when it all began. When we were two little boys.
Astonished, Edmund moved as if in a trance towards the archway in the garden wall where the childrens voices and laughter were coming from.
***
Cmon Richard! little Edmund was shouting. What kind of ruler cant beat his little brother? he was taunting, but not unkindly.
All right, brother, all right, the young version of Richard laughed. Give me a second to catch my breath though!
No, no, no, little Edmund insisted breathlessly. We have to hurry. I want to ride Galahad today, and you know father wont let us ride after sunset.
***
Edmund smiled as the scenethe memoryplayed out before him. How young and carefree they had been.
You always were the stronger wrestler, and a fierce competitor, Edmund, the adult Richard chuckled from over Edmunds shoulder. Even though you let me win sometimes.
Yes, well, Edmund snorted, perhaps that made up for the number of times that I cheated.
You, cheat brother? Richard mocked.
Edmund shrugged apologetically. Even as a child his ethics had been questionable, Edmund sighed.
You know, Edmund, what you consider cheating, some might just consider shrewd manipulation of a situation to your advantage. Stacking the odds narrowing the possible outcomes favourably
You sound like father, Edmund growled, turning to face the apparition of his brother, his teeth clenched and his jaw muscles twitching with the tension.
Yes, Richard agreed. Father would never have called it cheating, Edmund. You did though.
Ah, so I get credit for knowing I am a scorpion as I sting the people I love around me? Edmund scoffed bitterly, waving his brothers excuse away. Im sure they are all very comforted by the fact that I am not a complete sociopath.
Edmund, dont you ever wonder why you are so hard on yourself? Richard asked.
Edmund laughed. What Im usually wondering, dear brother, is why everyone else isnt harder on me, including myself! Edmund joked.
Richard folded his arms over his chest and glared at his brother, one eyebrow raised.
Oh, come on Richard! You may be noble enough to let bygones be bygones, but I have done a lot of damage in my life. More than I could ever make up for. Edmund became quiet and raked his hand through his hair as he felt the sheer magnitude of it all weigh heavy on his heart.
So thats it? Richard demanded. Well then, why even bother trying to be anything other than a scorpion, eh, Edmund? He sounded angry. You cant fight your nature, is that it?
Edmunds retort froze on his lips as he found himself suddenly high up on the palaces balcony
As he stood once again in his fathers intimidating presence, all at once Edmund felt as though he really were 10 years old again, his heart, imaginary or ethereal as it may be, pounding furiously in his chest.
Look at them both, Dax! his fathers clipped voice commanded, as he clapped the young Dax on the back. My sons!
If Edmund didnt know any better, he could have sworn he heard pride in his fathers voice.
Forgive myself? As Edmund stared back thoughtfully at his brothers face, trying to comprehend the bombshell hed just dropped into his head, the hospital operating room seemed to fade away around them, and was replaced with tropical flowersbirds of paradise, orchids, ylang-ylang, jasmine and roses roses just like his mother, Charlotte, used to grow in the gardens at the palace?
What? How? Edmund stammered, spinning around to take in the sights and smellsyes, smells, he could smell the sweet heady fragrance of the flowers on the warm San Cristobel breeze. This isnt real, Edmund whispered.
Oh, but it is Edmund, Richard assured him.
I dont understand, Richard. Why are we here? Why have you brought me back to this place?
Not just back to this place, Edmund Richard motioned to the palace balcony where a familiar lone figure stood stiffly looking out over the grounds, and the distant tinkling sound of children laughing grew gradually louder in Edmunds ears. Back to this time, Edmund. Back to when it all began. When we were two little boys.
Astonished, Edmund moved as if in a trance towards the archway in the garden wall where the childrens voices and laughter were coming from.
***
Cmon Richard! little Edmund was shouting. What kind of ruler cant beat his little brother? he was taunting, but not unkindly.
All right, brother, all right, the young version of Richard laughed. Give me a second to catch my breath though!
No, no, no, little Edmund insisted breathlessly. We have to hurry. I want to ride Galahad today, and you know father wont let us ride after sunset.
***
Edmund smiled as the scenethe memoryplayed out before him. How young and carefree they had been.
You always were the stronger wrestler, and a fierce competitor, Edmund, the adult Richard chuckled from over Edmunds shoulder. Even though you let me win sometimes.
Yes, well, Edmund snorted, perhaps that made up for the number of times that I cheated.
You, cheat brother? Richard mocked.
Edmund shrugged apologetically. Even as a child his ethics had been questionable, Edmund sighed.
You know, Edmund, what you consider cheating, some might just consider shrewd manipulation of a situation to your advantage. Stacking the odds narrowing the possible outcomes favourably
You sound like father, Edmund growled, turning to face the apparition of his brother, his teeth clenched and his jaw muscles twitching with the tension.
Yes, Richard agreed. Father would never have called it cheating, Edmund. You did though.
Ah, so I get credit for knowing I am a scorpion as I sting the people I love around me? Edmund scoffed bitterly, waving his brothers excuse away. Im sure they are all very comforted by the fact that I am not a complete sociopath.
Edmund, dont you ever wonder why you are so hard on yourself? Richard asked.
Edmund laughed. What Im usually wondering, dear brother, is why everyone else isnt harder on me, including myself! Edmund joked.
Richard folded his arms over his chest and glared at his brother, one eyebrow raised.
Oh, come on Richard! You may be noble enough to let bygones be bygones, but I have done a lot of damage in my life. More than I could ever make up for. Edmund became quiet and raked his hand through his hair as he felt the sheer magnitude of it all weigh heavy on his heart.
So thats it? Richard demanded. Well then, why even bother trying to be anything other than a scorpion, eh, Edmund? He sounded angry. You cant fight your nature, is that it?
Edmunds retort froze on his lips as he found himself suddenly high up on the palaces balcony
As he stood once again in his fathers intimidating presence, all at once Edmund felt as though he really were 10 years old again, his heart, imaginary or ethereal as it may be, pounding furiously in his chest.
Look at them both, Dax! his fathers clipped voice commanded, as he clapped the young Dax on the back. My sons!
If Edmund didnt know any better, he could have sworn he heard pride in his fathers voice.
