Once again... better late than never? 
ops: :P 
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Chapter 20:
Did you know about all this Richard? Did you know that father set it all up deliberately? That he planned to shoot Galahad all along to teach me a lesson? Edmund turned on Richard, his tone accusing.
No Edmund. Richard shook his head sadly. No. I wish I had. I wish I could have broken his hold over youover both of uslong ago.
Richard stepped forward and placed a hand on Edmunds shoulder and Edmund felt a wave of empathy from his brothers touch wash over him. Edmund looked into Richards compassionate face and felt suddenly sad that he had never made amends with Richard while he was alive. That they had never had the chance to stand up to their father together. But then, Edmund supposed that too had been part of Prince Georges strategy. His legacy! What would their father think now of his precious legacywith Richard dead, Edmund gone from San Cristobel and Alonzo, the baby hed thrown away, on the throne. Well, at least not all of his fathers evil machinations had succeeded!
It doesnt matter. Edmund spoke softly. His lessons were well learned.
Edmund, it took years for father to mould youmould both of us. It will take time to unlearn those lessons. You have to let go, Edmund. You have to find a way to release yourself form this hold father still has over you. You think your reactions are programmed, inevitable, but you are more than just the result of fathers twisted manipulations, Edmund. You are in control Edmund. Isnt Cassie worth it brother?
Cassie? Cassie was worth any sacrifice. Ive never felt much in control Richard, Edmund snorted bitterly. Ive blamed father all my life, but ultimately I am responsible for my own actions. Not the ghost of a bitter old twisted man. Me. And I constantly have to remind myself of who I am, and what Im capable ofto avoid making the same mistakes, to avoid the old familiar patterns. I am the one who lashes out at people who hurt me Im the one who holds on so tightly, so desperately to love that I practically strangle it! Edmund sneered and reached out with his hands as if actually choking something or someone. God Richard! I almost killed Beth in Mexico!
Edmund became agitated as he tried to explain all this to his brother to the one person, the one soul in this universe who might understand him. At first I blamed Beth for changing, for not being the person I thought she was, for not having enough courage to love me back. But it was just another form of lashing out because things didnt go my way. That is the man I am Richard. These are the things I am capable of holding a gun to my brothers head trying to snuff out my nephew when he was a mere infant locking Cassie in a tower for days without food and water!! Edmunds face crumpled as he looked at his brother with tears in his eyes and slumped down against the cold stone of the balcony wall. I cant let that happen to Cassie. I cant hurt her again. I wont.
Coward! Richard thundered back at his brother. You mean you dont want to be hurt again, Edmund.
Maybe. Maybe I dont know. Edmund ran his hands roughly through his hair. All I know is that hurting her hurts me, Richard. Edmund felt his hands shaking, his lower lip quiver. We are inseparable in my mind. That cant be good. Edmund looks out for Edmund. No one else. You know that brother, better than anyone.
But dont you see Edmund, if you two are intertwined then who better than you, my dear selfish brother to look out for her? With the same ruthless passion that you have always looked out for yourself, Richard advocated fervently.
Ruthless? Edmund laughed cynically. Cassie wouldnt appreciate that trait, believe me.
If it means defending her and her familyoh yeah, you better believe shell appreciate it Edmund. You are not like father. Neither are you the man he wanted to be. Isnt that your best revenge on him Edmund?
Edmund desperately wanted to believe Richard. He wanted to believe that he wasnt hopeless. That he could offer Cassie a good life. A life without constant pain and mistrust
Edmund! Richard grabbed Edmund by the shoulders and forced him to look up at him. Our father ended up a bitter, lonely old man. Nothing that he planned for turned out the way he wanted. Why should you be any different? Why should you let him win any more than Jonathan should let Alfred win? You asked him to try to break the cycle, but you have yet to find the key to breaking yourself free. You know why you are so hard on yourself Edmund? Because part of youthe part he never touchedknows that he was wrong, Edmund. And that same part is the part that loves Cassie thats what Cassie sees in you dear brotherwhat I've always seen. Thats the part of you that you need to hang on to Edmund. Dont dismiss it as a weakness, for it is your greatest strength.
Edmund remained slumped against the balcony wall, his head hanging in his hands.
You are the most competitive man I know, Edmund. Fight back, dammit! Richard pulled Edmund roughly to his feet. Do you want to end up a bitter, lonely man too? Or do you want to love and be loved?
The question rang in Edmunds ears and he sensed their surroundings shift around them again. Now they were standing in a graveyard and three headstones stood before him in a neat row. Edmund looked at Richard in alarm. Who else was dead?
ops: :P : Chapter 20:
Did you know about all this Richard? Did you know that father set it all up deliberately? That he planned to shoot Galahad all along to teach me a lesson? Edmund turned on Richard, his tone accusing.
No Edmund. Richard shook his head sadly. No. I wish I had. I wish I could have broken his hold over youover both of uslong ago.
Richard stepped forward and placed a hand on Edmunds shoulder and Edmund felt a wave of empathy from his brothers touch wash over him. Edmund looked into Richards compassionate face and felt suddenly sad that he had never made amends with Richard while he was alive. That they had never had the chance to stand up to their father together. But then, Edmund supposed that too had been part of Prince Georges strategy. His legacy! What would their father think now of his precious legacywith Richard dead, Edmund gone from San Cristobel and Alonzo, the baby hed thrown away, on the throne. Well, at least not all of his fathers evil machinations had succeeded!
It doesnt matter. Edmund spoke softly. His lessons were well learned.
Edmund, it took years for father to mould youmould both of us. It will take time to unlearn those lessons. You have to let go, Edmund. You have to find a way to release yourself form this hold father still has over you. You think your reactions are programmed, inevitable, but you are more than just the result of fathers twisted manipulations, Edmund. You are in control Edmund. Isnt Cassie worth it brother?
Cassie? Cassie was worth any sacrifice. Ive never felt much in control Richard, Edmund snorted bitterly. Ive blamed father all my life, but ultimately I am responsible for my own actions. Not the ghost of a bitter old twisted man. Me. And I constantly have to remind myself of who I am, and what Im capable ofto avoid making the same mistakes, to avoid the old familiar patterns. I am the one who lashes out at people who hurt me Im the one who holds on so tightly, so desperately to love that I practically strangle it! Edmund sneered and reached out with his hands as if actually choking something or someone. God Richard! I almost killed Beth in Mexico!
Edmund became agitated as he tried to explain all this to his brother to the one person, the one soul in this universe who might understand him. At first I blamed Beth for changing, for not being the person I thought she was, for not having enough courage to love me back. But it was just another form of lashing out because things didnt go my way. That is the man I am Richard. These are the things I am capable of holding a gun to my brothers head trying to snuff out my nephew when he was a mere infant locking Cassie in a tower for days without food and water!! Edmunds face crumpled as he looked at his brother with tears in his eyes and slumped down against the cold stone of the balcony wall. I cant let that happen to Cassie. I cant hurt her again. I wont.
Coward! Richard thundered back at his brother. You mean you dont want to be hurt again, Edmund.
Maybe. Maybe I dont know. Edmund ran his hands roughly through his hair. All I know is that hurting her hurts me, Richard. Edmund felt his hands shaking, his lower lip quiver. We are inseparable in my mind. That cant be good. Edmund looks out for Edmund. No one else. You know that brother, better than anyone.
But dont you see Edmund, if you two are intertwined then who better than you, my dear selfish brother to look out for her? With the same ruthless passion that you have always looked out for yourself, Richard advocated fervently.
Ruthless? Edmund laughed cynically. Cassie wouldnt appreciate that trait, believe me.
If it means defending her and her familyoh yeah, you better believe shell appreciate it Edmund. You are not like father. Neither are you the man he wanted to be. Isnt that your best revenge on him Edmund?
Edmund desperately wanted to believe Richard. He wanted to believe that he wasnt hopeless. That he could offer Cassie a good life. A life without constant pain and mistrust
Edmund! Richard grabbed Edmund by the shoulders and forced him to look up at him. Our father ended up a bitter, lonely old man. Nothing that he planned for turned out the way he wanted. Why should you be any different? Why should you let him win any more than Jonathan should let Alfred win? You asked him to try to break the cycle, but you have yet to find the key to breaking yourself free. You know why you are so hard on yourself Edmund? Because part of youthe part he never touchedknows that he was wrong, Edmund. And that same part is the part that loves Cassie thats what Cassie sees in you dear brotherwhat I've always seen. Thats the part of you that you need to hang on to Edmund. Dont dismiss it as a weakness, for it is your greatest strength.
Edmund remained slumped against the balcony wall, his head hanging in his hands.
You are the most competitive man I know, Edmund. Fight back, dammit! Richard pulled Edmund roughly to his feet. Do you want to end up a bitter, lonely man too? Or do you want to love and be loved?
The question rang in Edmunds ears and he sensed their surroundings shift around them again. Now they were standing in a graveyard and three headstones stood before him in a neat row. Edmund looked at Richard in alarm. Who else was dead?
